10 ways to live a healthy dose of Insanity
by Mikoyami
Summary: For Erinrocks  An Itachi one-shot


ErinRocks (An Itachi One-Shot)

Name: Erin McCartan

Age: 16

Village: Konoha :D

Looks: Short, dyed black hair, green eyes, and 5'8.

Personality: She can be quiet random and hyperactive. She REALLY loves Itachi, and will try anything to get with him. But she knows how to be calm and collective when the situation calls for it.

Theme: Insanity

Summary: How was she supposed to live without her Insanity? How was he supposed to live with it?

So if I'm thinking correct, there is many ways to view Insanity…I like the mentally insane, mental asylum…but I'm guessing everybody is more into the classical insanity one. The insanity that helped you makes it through high school. Then a question hit me how was I supposed to hit insanity without making it Parody. God knows I don't have much of a funny bone…but then I got an idea, enjoy :).

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or the rules of insanity either.

1. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

2. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

3. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

4. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

5. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

6. Put Mosquito Netting around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

7. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

8. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

9. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

10. Be Yourself….

Somewhere deep in the Akatsuki hideout, a girl was laying on her bed, flat on her stomach as she jolted down ideas on how to maintain her insanity and annoy the Akatsuki at the same time. One of the Akatsuki members in particularly came into mind considering he was the hardest of all the Akatsuki members to annoy was the infamous stoic Itachi Uchiha.

How to maintain a healthy dose of insanity

Erin jolted down.

Rule #1

Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

Erin sat and thought about it. Her mind imagining what would happen if followed that rule with leader-sama. The very idea of testing it out could get her killed on the spot. Erin quickly put down as a side note.

(Expect for Leader-Sama always do what he ask, No questions asked)

Erin smiled as she held the paper up like a good report card, now imagining all kind of mischievous; she could do with this rule. How many times will she have to dodge the Akatsuki to make sure she didn't get killed?

Who should she try it on first? Deidara, Deidara gets annoyed quicker and knowing Deidara he will try to throw a clay bird at her. But knowing Deidara he will soon join in on the fun also wanting to annoy the "stoic pansy Uchiha" as Deidara would put it.

Erin folded the piece of paper and put it her clock pocket. First was defiantly Deidara, she ran out of the door bumping in to someone's chest. Crimson red eyes stared at her as Erin fell to floor.

"Uchiha," Erin gasped as Itachi walked around her.

"You in the way," Itachi told her walking into his room.

Erin glared at Itachi's door as he shut it, "You're on my list Uchiha," Erin mumbled getting up again and continued on her quest to annoy Deidara.

Deidara glared as Erin burst into his room and began jumping around. What did she want this time couldn't she tell he was in middle of a master piece? Half of him was telling him to throw the incomplete artwork at Erin and see the beautiful explosion but the other half of him was telling him to save for Tobi when it is complete and see the beauty of his master piece in its completed form.

"Erin get out of my room un," Deidara growled.

"Would you like fires with that?" Erin asked sitting Criss-Cross on Deidara's bed.

Deidara turned to glare at Erin, maybe it was a good idea to throw the incomplete art work at her. She might learn not to bug him after.

"What hmm?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Would you like fires with that?" Erin repeated.

After half an hour of Deidara telling her to leave, and Erin repeating her phrase, she finally gave in and told him of her plan. Deidara gave her a look, that told her it wasn't going to work but if it did work then seeing Itachi Uchiha angry was well worth the time.

He stuck his thumbs up, saying he was in, "So who is your next victim hmm?" Deidara asked.

"Hidan," Erin answered.

Deidara turned around and began working on his art work again, "Tell me when you get to the stick-up-his-ass Uchiha,"

Erin ran out of Deidara's room, and went straight to Hidan's room. Just as she was about to knock on his door, Erin heard some grotesque noise coming from his room. He was most likely doing his ritual, there for scaring Erin from going in. She decided to go to Kakuzu room and bother him there.

He told her that to get Fries, she had to pay him for the fries and his time. There for ruining the joke. She decided Zetsu next but Zetsu was soon arguing with himself if fires were good and something about not eating his own kind. Kisame chase her around, making the joke enjoyable again. Sasori stopped her before she even began asking, telling her that he still had enough wood carvings to make a puppet out of her, scaring Erin. Tobi was too stupid to get the joke, he kept asking Erin was the fries, there for driving Erin insane instead of the other way around. Next was Itachi Uchiha.

Just as she about to turn the corner, she nearly ran once again into Uchiha Itachi. She only stopped, because she could feel someone glaring harshly at her (or was that her imagination). Itachi looked at her and stepped to the side.

"We have a mission, tomorrow," Itachi told her.

"Would you like fries with that?" Erin asked, blushing a little bit.

Itachi's eyes narrowed in annoyance, but not breaking his stoic look. Erin pouted a little, this man will drive her insane if she didn't drive him insane soon.

"Be ready before dawn," Itachi told her walking off.

"How long is the mission?" Erin asked breaking her own rule on her rules to keep a healthy insanity.

"Three weeks," Itachi told her not looking back.

Like a light bulb Erin got a new idea, she pulled out her sheet of paper and wrote down the new rule.

Rule #2

Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

Erin looked at the rule and let out a small hyperactive giggle. Knowing the Akatsuki with their caffeine addictions this one will be fun to watch.

(This rule will work a leader, when he ask who did this flat out deny it)

The only problem was that Itachi won't be the one, who was going to suffer through this rule. The good news was that Erin had three weeks to annoy Itachi and get close to him, but the last part was only for hers to know about.

Erin blushed and ran into her room and began planning for her upcoming mission with Itachi and how to make sure everybody stuck to their decaf diet.

When rule number three hit here again with the pen and paper.

Rule #3

Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

That was one way to drive Itachi Uchiha insane.

Night finally came around Erin began working on her coffee plan. Her only interruption was a sleepy Hidan, who only cursed a few simpler words sleepy before he went back to his room.

"Are you ready?" Itachi asked a very sleepy Erin.

Erin nodded tiredly, too tired to even try rule number three on Itachi…and they began on their long mission.

The problem with Itachi, was that he hardly ever spoke. So testing out rule number three was him was going to be difficult, not only at that it got very boring quickly. To keep herself entertained Erin decided to watch squirrels, she soon found herself making up ridicules stories for the squirrels.

One squirrel was chasing this female squirrel because she stole his nuts but she ran to her big brother squirrel that beat up the other squirrel but what the female squirrel didn't know was that her brother was an evil tyrant lord. The story sometimes got so ridicules that Erin would stop and laugh, when Itachi stopped to look at her, Erin went on explaining the ridicules stories with the squirrels of course ending her sentence with "in Accordance with the Prophecy,". Itachi only raised an eyebrow explaining that the girl was crazy but didn't say anything else.

After no squirrels could be seen, Erin quickly became bored again.

"I'm bored," Erin complained loudly in hopes that Itachi would keep her entertained.

Itachi didn't say anything.

"I said I'm bored," Erin repeated.

"I heard you the first time," Itachi told her, "Try keeping yourself entertained," Like writing on that piece of paper. Itachi thought his sharp eyes didn't miss the beat as Erin once again pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote something down before she started skipping. She skipped around the trees, between bushes and around Itachi.

Itachi didn't say anything, his mind carefully mapping out the next rout for the village they were going to stay in.

Rule #4

As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

Erin followed that rule as she wrote it down, she skipped all the way in to the village, all the way into the inn, she and Itachi will be sleeping at in, and skipped all the way to her room and fell straight to sleep. Today was long and tomorrow would be even longer, for they had yet to reach their destination.

Itachi stood outside of Erin's door and shook his head, "You're not driving me insane with that stupid list," with that Itachi walked into his room.

The following morning Erin woke up and like a bolt of lightning a new idea came to mind.

Rule #5

Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

Erin skipped to breakfast, still following rule number four and besides skipping was more fun than walking. Itachi explained the rules in further details, Erin listened carefully knowing, this was important and she had push her rule book to the side.

When Itachi was done, the waitress came by, "Would you like something to drink?" she asked, her eyes fluttering a slight bit at the sight of Itachi.

Erin glared at her feeling jealousy in the pit of her stomach, she was going to embarrassed this waitress with the two ton make up.

"Yes, I'll have a diet water," Erin said sophistically.

Itachi's eyes narrowed irritated while the waitress just now noticed Erin's presence began blushing.

"W-what?" Maybe she heard the girl wrong.

"I'll have…" Erin was about to repeat herself when Itachi interrupted.

"She'll have water and I'll have green tea," Itachi's eyes never left Erin.

The waitresses blushed embarrassed before scampering off to get the orders.

'Yeah you better run,' Erin thought before turning back to glare at Itachi, "Why did you ruin my fun?"

"Because your way's of insanity is stupid and childish," Itachi answered not looking away from Erin almost looking heartedly.

Erin didn't say anything as she felt a wave of deft, Itachi saw her stupid and child. Great, she wanted to respect by Itachi not seen as worthless.

The rest of the mission went smoothly. They made it back to the base around the three week mark. Erin walked into Deidara's room and sighed. Deidara almost compete with his master work looked at Erin with a raised eyebrow.

"What's wrong hmm?" He took a sip of his coffee.

Erin stared wide eye at the coffee remembering rule number two.

Rule #2

Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

She ran into the kitchen and put Espresso coffee beans in to the coffee maker and waited for the results. As Erin waited she sat in her room, to think of rule number six. Her eyebrows scrunched up as her legs dangled in air. Her mind was blank, Itachi didn't like her. Erin began making animal sounds to keep her mind occupied and away from the cold hearted Uchiha.

Rule #6

Erin wrote, just then Tobi came into her room jumping from wall to wall.

"Tobi feels all jittery, after drinking coffee," Tobi said.

'It worked,' Erin thought smiling.

"Tobi I have magic beans that will help you from being jittery," Erin said with a very serious expression. Tobi stopped jumping around, "All I need you to bring is some mosquito netting to me,"

Tobi nodded and hopped out of the room, bringing in the mosquito netting a few minutes later.

"Can Tobi have the magic beans now?" Tobi asked sticking out his hand.

"Um…yeah," Erin pulled out a couple of coffee beans and handed them to Tobi. Tobi once again bounced out Erin's room.

Rule #6

Put Mosquito Netting around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

Erin sat in her room and played tropical sounds all day. Deidara came to join her, but soon got bored and went back to his art. Hidan sat with Erin for awhile but he had his bloody ritual to get back to, and what a surprise Kisame came too but soon fell asleep. Itachi walked by and gave Erin a crazy look before he continued on to his destination.

Erin looked at the sleeping Kisame as he let out a loud snore, half of her was tempted to stick a pencil up his nose to see what would happen another half was just tempted to push him off the bed.

Rule #7

Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

And…

Rule #8

Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

Kisame let out another loud snore. Erin finally came to the conclusion to kick Kisame of the bed, Kisame woke up with a loud thud. Itachi opened the door to Erin's room to glare at her for making such a loud noise when she should be sleeping.

"Itachi, Kisame," Erin stood on her bed. Itachi gave her look that told her she was insane, while Kisame stared at her tiredly from the floor, "Remember that Mission we have in five days?"

They didn't answer because they didn't have a mission in five days.

"Well I don't think I'm going," Erin crossed her arms and sat on her bed again.

"Why not?" Kisame gruffly asked, through a yawn.

"Because I won't feel like going," Erin answered.

The boys didn't say anything, Kisame got up from the floor.

"Oh, and from now on I would like be called from my wrestling name 'Rock Bottom'" Erin told each man.

"It suits you," Itachi growled walking out. Erin felt her heart break as Itachi left the room, she stared at her feet. Why wasn't she getting Itachi's attention?

Kisame stood awkwardly in Erin's before he left.

The next morning Erin was sitting on, yes on the kitchen table thinking of her next rule of Insanity.

Rule #9

When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

Erin knew this rule wasn't going to work anytime soon, one because they didn't have a zoo nearby and two if there as a zoo nearby, chance of Erin getting arrested was very high.

Erin sighed as Itachi came back into mind. Did he hate her now? Did she mange to annoy him? Why did she like him so much?

"Erin come quick, un" Deidara said jumping into the kitchen and began dragging Erin out, "I finished with my master piece hmm. You have to see it yeah,"

Deidara showed Erin his master piece, which once again, looked like a, "Looks like a giant chicken,"

"You don't know how to appreciate art un, after all art is an explosion," Deidara smirked.

Erin rolled her eyes and walked out, she had to fix rule number nine, it was never going to work. She felt into her pocket and panicked. It wasn't there! She began feeling around different pockets in attempt to find it. It wasn't in any of her pockets. She ran to the kitchen it wasn't on the table either.

It wasn't that Erin minded loosing the sheet of paper the problem was that she had Itachi's name written all over on the back of it, with question if he hated her. Erin ran to her room and turned her room over. It wasn't there either.

She ran out of her room and bumped into someone's hard chest. Itachi sighed and helped her up. Erin looked at him and blushed did he find it? She really hoped not. Itachi leaned in and kissed Erin lightly on the lips.

"I don't hate you," He mumbled before walking off.

Erin stared at Itachi's back as it turned the corner and kept on staring. A loud explosion broke her from her trance and high pitched scream coming from Tobi. Deidara most of tested out his art on Tobi because he was bored or maybe Tobi annoyed him either way Erin wasn't sure.

She traced her lip and smiled, placing her hand back into her pocket. She raised an eyebrow as she pulled out her list. How did that get in there?

She opened up her list and in cool elegant hand writing Itachi wrote

Rule #10

Be yourself

Erin hugged the paper close and smiled. It was a rule she would be glad to follow if Itachi could stand her insanity.

Woot I'm done alright, yeah XD. Anyway I'm too sure on this story personally I liked it because it went a little out of my comfort zone with all the rules, but at the same time with the rules I don't know if I got Erin in character or not? Yeah I know Itachi went a little OOC at the end but I thought it might help get the story going. The character I'm used to pairing Itachi with is my OC meaning I know how to mesh their personality well together. I'm not saying I hate these OC's no I love them because they help me with character development and everything. They put Itachi in situations I would never put him through, which is great. Back to the story yeah it went on longer than one day and more than a few weeks maybe month but I think it helped the ball rolling. Besides that I really everyone enjoyed the rules. See you next time. ~Miko Yami~


End file.
